The Fear: Writing and Self-Doubt

 

I haven't posted here in a while. I suppose that's because I haven't written in a while. And why is that? The dreaded block back? No, not at all. Actually, I'm full of ideas. They're rattling round my head on a permanent spin cycle, waiting to be verbalised. It's more the fear.

You know the fear I speak of. The one that plagues all creatives. 

Fear that you're not good enough. Fear that your talents have left you. Fear that you can't do it anymore. So why bother at all? Doubt, to be more precise. Self-doubt. Sylvia Plath was right when she said that 'the worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.' It is. It is crippling, debilitating. 

It's different from block. Block is more the outward manifestation of a deeper root cause, a malignant source of all stop-and-stutter verbal hesitation.

All writers experience the fear, the doubt. Even though some might come across as utterly confident - even to the point of arrogant. You wouldn't ever suspect that they too were hounded and haunted by self-doubt, but they are. 

The closest career to writers I can think of are trapeze artists (yes, trapeze artists). Of course, you need confidence to pull off those moves, to swing in sky so triumphantly. One ounce of doubt would bring you down. (Like Peter Pan and flying).  And when it happens, when you fall, your bones may hold up, but your faith breaks a little. And it's hard to swallow it down and get back up again. Also as a trapeze artist, you must depend upon your partner to catch you, as in writing, a writer depends upon their inspiration, that second gravity-defying dimension that is not always tangible. 

 I don't know why we doubt but I suspect it is because we work in the realm of creative swells and trickles. Good writing, great writing is never a constant process. For every good sentence produced, there were probably about ten flaky ones that scaffolded it. All our words are not gold. Some are flint. Some are copper. Some are lead. We have to work at it to get it good. We have to work with a heavy hand to make it seem feather-light. Some days, words will flow easily, graciously. We will feel like we are gliding on the crest of a wave. Everything is glittering.  It is so easy to surf this wave of writing. But then other days, it's hard. We can't catch a wave. The ocean is flat and will not rise to our bidding. We splash around a while before calling it a day. It's all highs and lows, ebbs and flows, waheying and worrying. And it's in between these extremes that doubt sneaks in. We begin to doubt our own abilities on the flat days and wonder how we will ever get so high again, and with that, we're soon in the dark territory of fear. We begin to fear the process, fear the taunting of the blank page, the many words that will bleed and die there. We begin to fear that our dream was a delusion all along.  So that's where I've been this past while. And instead of hiding from it any longer I thought, hell, I'll write about it, I'll take the first steps out of the shadows. I know doubt is a part of the creative process, but I didn't know it could be so overpowering at times. What is it that Pi says in Life of Pi when his faith is faltering? - 

“I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unnerving ease. It begins in your mind, always ... so you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further ttacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.” 

So here I am shining the light of words upon it. And maybe it's opening up the darkness just a bit.And a last word on it from Pi, Yann Martel's fictional embodiment of all our human emotions -   “If Christ spent an anguished night in prayer, if He burst out from the Cross, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' then surely we are also permitted doubt. But we must move on. To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.”Yep. That's it. Doubt will get you nowhere. We must get over it and move on. Move on. Write on. Besides, it is just a mark of a true artist: ~ Siobhán                    

Things I Do While Procrastinating About Writing...

In the midst of a writing procrastination paralysis...! I don't get it - yesterday I was on a perfect prose roll, now today it's like my mind has frozen up, my ink has all dried up, my ability to string words together has skidded to a halt! 

All because I didn't write right away today - I put it off, I got sidetracked, I waited -  then the procrastination set in. (It's sneaky like that).

Damn.

Symptoms of this procrastination include: (You may recognise some of these...)

-Staring blankly out a window - on and off - all day...

 

-Going bigtime domestic (doing dishes and all kinds of previously-shunned housework, tidying up, de-cluttering workspace, trying to feng-shui practically everything in an attempt to re-order my mind...)

-Trying to douse my verbal mind with visuals - ie. watching copious amounts of TV

-Spending inordinate amounts of time on social networking sites...

-Biting my nails furiously (ouch)

-Sighing miserably every few hours

-Refusing all books (can't bear to look at the printed word - makes me feel more guilty)

-Googling excessively

-Staring blankly at a new Word document

-Having a DVD-box-set-athon  (helps to quiet my screaming mind)

-Editing music playlists and making new ones

-Moping

-Snapping at passers-by

-Experimenting with vegetating

-Buying new notebooks:

-Staring blankly into the ether 

-Observing minute everyday detail, like dust motes settling onto furniture and construing it into some existential significance...

-Thinking, thinking, thinking, rifling and contemplating - but no writing:

 












-Searching for pens

-Doodling over said new notebooks with found pens

-Talking about writing: (the worst one)

 










-And all the while, dying a little inside.

***
Sound familiar anyone??

Oh. Oh. Oh.

It's like Waiting for Godot - waiting for that one moment of inspiration, that timely hour when it will be right to write. 

I'm sure you've all experienced it, this procrastination when it comes to writing. Not a block per se, but a putting off, a feeling that comes from that demon doubt and all the shadows that go with it - namely, the quest for perfection.

It will pass yes. Soon I'll be navigating my way through firing synapses and brainstorms of words coming so fast at me that I won't have time to write them all down and I'll be rolling around in words until my fingers get inky and all of this crippling, debilitating waiting will be a ghost, a faint memory, a faint footnote to the bigger picture, behind me, and in front of me - all the bright lights of verbosity.

But for now, it's miserable. (And writing about it helps :) A step to knocking the progress of  procrastination:

Thank you for reading,


~ Siobhán

A Writer's Survival Kit: Making a Literary Life

I've mentioned the book I'm currently reading on writing 'Making a Literary Life' by Carolyn See before, but now I just have to mention it again as it has saved me from a crippling block (and almost meltdown)! 

Yes dear readers, last night I was in the throes of lamenting the big bad block and so out of a need for self-consolation, I went to this writing guide to see if it could help me. (Usually while afflicted with writer's block, I can't bear to read someone else's theorising on writing - I prefer just to crawl into a corner and shrivel up until a bolt of returning words find and reawaken me again...) But no, last night, I thought I better take some action. 

And I can tell you - there hasn't been a funnier book written on writing! This book is laugh-out-loud hilarious. I love the author's casual light-hearted attitude she takes to the whole 'craft.' It's so fresh and new and bubbly and exciting. (I always approach writing 'guides' with a pinch of salt, hold them at a metaphorical arm's length just incase you know - their thesis does not sit entirely on par with mine - but this one, this one is so different!)

I headed to it in a frantic search looking for advice on writer's block (even though I goddamn know every last offering there is), but instead found solace in the scathing wit and humour she writes with on every page.

For example, on rejection, she is of the opinion that for every rejection slip we get back from publishers, we should send a thank-you note, just to dispel the inherent negativity that comes with such a knock-in-the-teeth. She speaks of editors as suitors for us writers to pursue and woo and as pre-programmed... plastic ducks: '...editors, playing 'hard to get' at every level, are programmed to act like those plastic ducks you used to see in 99-cent stores. Their little heads with their pink bills are set to wag back and forth: no, no, no, no, no. But the thing about those ducks was: With timing and concentration, you could put a drop of water on their bills, and from then on they'd nod yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! How do you get the duck to do that? It's certainly possible; it's part of the game.'

She has a point! They can be broke down, if we just approach them in the right way, at the right time. And if not, to not let ourselves get broken by their rejection. She then goes on to make the point that rejection (what we writers so fear) is a process, not an event, a process that must play out: 'So you send them a manuscript, and they send it back. Believe me, if you were Jesus Christ himself, they'd send it back."

She maintains that you write them a thank you note in return for their rejection slips and goes on to tell of a few of her own experiences in this aspect (very funny I might add!) The way to diffuse this rejection bad ju-ju is to send back a polite thank-you note that lets the editor in question know you have not 'died' from their dismissal but are simply carrying on the rejection/acceptance process of what she terms comically as 'cosmic badminton.' 

Haha! That's one way anyway to diffuse the whole mystique of approaching editors and to de-fang - even make light of - rejection!

She goes on in the next chapter about how to deal with success, if it comes and tackles the taboo subject of the writer's 'ego' on a very humorous basis: 

'Outside of having children, or dying, nothing more dramatic or life-changing can happen to you than to see your work in print. Oh, maybe winning the U.S. Open or the America's Cup, but I'm not sure about that, because those are fleeting moments, gone almost as soon as they happen. When you've something in print, even if it's a recipe for heirloom tomato aspic, you've bought a ticket in immortality's lottery. Part of you is floating in another universe, and until every last copy of whatever-it-is, is burned, smashed, and gone, you are, because of that little scrap, not bound by the rules of time. ...This is when your ego tends to go stark raving mad... You always suspected the world revolved around you, but your mother set you straight. By the time you got to kindergarten you realized there were other kids, that you were just one of many. But now, look! The proof is undeniable: Right there in the newspaper: 'Making Love Can Keep You Fit', and there's your name right underneath it! Or there, in the campus magazine: 'Adios Barcelona.' Nothing in the world is going to persuade you that there's anything more important than seeing your name in print - not the Ebola virus or World War Three or the love of your life.'

Well yes, there is no feeling quite like seeing your name in print, but her exaggerative qualities are what make the writing really hilarious here. She ratchets up the pride here just enough to pique familiarity as to amuse.  You'll find yourself sniggering along to her train of thought while reading. Here is jauntiness and fearlessness in the face of stereotypical pomp, - balls - for lack of another word. Most writers treat the craft so solemnly, especially when writing about it. This is a book on writing which talks in common sense and with a  wink-wink-nudge-nudge style effect as if saying - 'ah go on, admit it, this is how we writers really feel.' 

But she offers sound advice too. Like for example, when a piece of your work is published and you want others to read it, she advises to send them copies (even your enemies), because if you're relying on friends and family to rush out and read your stuff, it just ain't going to happen. They have their lives to get on with (point duly noted.) And besides, 'nobody could ever love your work enough. Have you heard the phrase 'That kid's got a face only a mother could love'? Your work is your child; you're the one who has to love it, even though it may still be a little funny-looking.' True enough. But nobody ever pointed it out to me like that before - thanks Carolyn!

Also, when confronted with someone who says they saw your piece in whatever, a reader so to speak  - don't, under any circumstances, ask them what they thought of it (for chances are, Carolyn notes, they'll say something you don't want to hear...) Instead, she advises to reply with the standard one-size-fits-all-situations answer 'No Kidding,' and smile politely. Let them say more if they want, but you just smile on regardless. What a gem! If  only I'd followed that advice before, I'd certainly be one or two critical insults down.

Most importantly, she also remarks that it doesn't matter what these people think of your work, whether they read it or do not - it only matters what publishers and editors think of it. After all, they are the ones controlling whether you can do it for a living or not. Exactly. (And again, advice I need to retain a vice-grip upon).

I am now into the second part of the book which deals with the techniques of writing and already it's still written with a humorous, original premise. Nothing predictable about this book! If you want to read a book on writing, I'd highly recommend this one. From laugh-out-loud observations to witty sarcasm to straight-up common sense do this-or-don't to lilting sweep-you-along romantic idealism, the authorial voice is always surprising yet relevant and right. And I suppose writing - the craft, the profession, the life - is made up of all these aspects too.

I'll end with her passage on beating discouragement in writing and in life (for the two are inexplicably woven together, are they not?) and being proactive:

"That's it, isn't it? Do we cry, or do we go out sailing? Do we eat dog food when we're poor and old, or do we make gourmet carrot soup? Do we sit on the couch or go out for a walk? Do we fall in love or make some poor bastard's life a living hell? Do we look out the window and groan about our wasted life, or do we make a plan to see if we can live our dream? Do we go through life asleep or try to wake up? 

I hope I'm wrong, but I imagine that about 90 percent of the human race is snoozing along, just going through the motions. And 100 percent of us dull out some of the time. It takes miracles, white magic, wonders, to jog us from our slumber. What if we really were masters of our mind and life? What if we were God-in-action? What would we do then? 

Everything we write is some kind of answer to that question."

Indeed. That's all I needed to know for now to get me back on the unblocked path. Thank you Carolyn.

~ Siobhán

Writer's Bane/Block (Part II)

 

Oh God. The dreaded 'b' word strikes again... But at least I'm in good company. So here I take Charles Bukowski's advice and write about writer's block - as it's better that than not writing anything at all.

Because writing nothing is not an option. If I go several days without writing anything, I feel hollow and emptied out. I don't feel right. And it's a horrible feeling. For writing puts me in tune with the world; without it I'm all out of tune, distanced, disembodied. 

Writer's block is a contentious issue among writers: some insist it doesn't exist and others swear by its debilitating powers. It's a bit of a taboo issue really. And lately, it's become a tired cliché.

But that's not to say it's not real.

Sometimes the block seems everlasting, other times fleeting. But one consistency it has is that it's not pleasant. And the longer it lingers, the worse it gets. Like fear in a way. It has to be nipped in the bud right away or else it festers. (Hmm, I wish I could take this advice I'm writing - I'm so far into the block's chronic clutches at this stage...)

Of what I know about writer's block - it is deeply personal and specific. Writers get blocked for different reasons - the easy kind of block being the one which involves the story, a plot question or such. The worst is the psychological block - what if I'm not good enough? The crippling self-doubt that can paralyze a writer.

But I think John Rogers has it right - that it's a 'thinking' block more than anything else; and that the only way out of it is to write. 

If that's true, then here's my first attempt to write out of it. 

Anyone else out there suffer from writer's block? Care to share your stories, fears, remedies...?? 

for now, 


~ Siobhán 


***

'You can’t think yourself out of a writing block; you have to write yourself out of a thinking block. ~ John Rogers

'Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch.' ~ Lili St Crow

Writing about writer's block is better than not writing at all.' ~ Charles Bukowski

'Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite: "Fool!" said my muse to me, "look in thy heart, and write.' ~ Sir Philip Sidney 

'All writing is difficult. The most you can hope for is a day when it goes reasonably easily. Plumbers don’t get plumber’s block, and doctors don’t get doctor’s block; why should writers be the only profession that gives a special name to the difficulty of working, and then expects sympathy for it?' ~ Philip Pullman

'What I try to do is write. I may write for two weeks ‘the cat sat on the mat, that is that, not a rat,’ … And it might be just the most boring and awful stuff. But I try. When I’m writing, I write. And then it’s as if the muse is convinced that I’m serious and says, ‘Okay. Okay. I’ll come.' ~ Maya Angelou

'There’s no such thing as writer’s block. That was invented by people in California who couldn’t write.' ~Terry Pratchett

'Being a real writer means being able to do the work on a bad day.' ~ Norman Mailer

'I shall live badly if I do not write, and I shall write badly if I do not live.' ~ Francoise Sagan

Beware The Blank Page

The writer's greatest enemy: the blank page.  Scarier than you think. For all those who think writing is trivial, think again. It is anything but. It is serious, deep and dangerous. Real writing that excavates the bones of who we really are. It is dark psychological terrain. 

No one can explain this better than prolific Canadian writer Margaret Atwood. She is one of my favourite writers for her sense of unflinching truth. Her writing goes straight to the gut, and stays there. She is fearless and fearsome in tackling dark matter. Who can forget the dystopian nightmare of The Handmaid's Tale or the disturbing insights offered in Alias Grace? All of Atwood's fiction indeed, cuts to the bone. 

I was especially stunned and haunted after reading her take on  the blank page, or the page, as she puts it. This is writing as dangerous, writing as diving into deep matter, writing as a compulsion and a sacrifice. 

I just have to copy it here for you to read and become aware of, if you aren't already. And if you haven't happened upon her essays and short fiction, start!  This extract, 'The Page' comes from the short collection 'Murder in the Dark' which features other short essays and prose poems.

'The Page' - Margaret Atwood

1. The page waits, pretending to be blank. Is that its appeal, its blankness? What else is this smooth and white, this terrifyingly innocent?  A snowfall, a glacier? It's a desert, totally arid, without life. But people venture into such places. Why? To see how much they can endure, how much dry light?

2.  I've said the page is white, and it is: white as wedding dresses, rare whales, seagulls, angels, ice, and death. Some say that like sunlight it contains all colours; others, that it's white because it's hot, it will burn out your optic nerves; that those who stare at the page too long go blind.

3. The page itself has no dimensions and no directions. There's no up or down except what you yourself mark, there's no thickness and weight bu those you put there, north and south do not exist unless you're certain of them. The page is without vistas and without sounds, without centres or edges. Because of this you can become lost in it forever. Have you never seen the look of gratitude, the look of joy, on the faces of those who have managed to return from the page? Despite their faintness, their loss of blood, they fall on their knees, they push their hands into the earth, they clasp the bodies of those they love, or, in a pinch, any bodies they can get, with an urgency unknown to those who have never experienced the full horror of a journey into the page. 

4. If you decide  to enter the page, take a knife and some matches, and something that will float. Take something you can hold onto, and a prism to split the light and a talisman that works, which should be hung on a chain around your neck: that's for getting back. It doesn't matter what kind of shoes, but your hands should be bare. You should never go into the page with gloves on. Such decisions, needless to say, should not be made lightly. 

    There are those, of course, who enter the page without deciding, without meaning to. Some of these have charmed lives and no difficulty, but most never make it out at all. For them, the page appears as a well, a lovely pool in which they catch sight of a face, their own but better. These unfortunates do not jump: rather they fall and the page closes over their heads without a sound, without a seam, and is immediately as whole and empty, as glassy, as enticing as before. 

5. The question about the page is: what is beneath it? It seems to have only two dimensions, you can pick it up and turn it over and the back is the same as the front. Nothing, you say, disappointed. 

    But you were looking in the wrong place, you were looking on the back instead of beneath. Beneath the page is another story. Beneath the page is a story. Beneath the page is everything that has ever happened, most of which you would rather not hear about. 

     The page is not a pool but a skin, a skin is there to hold in and it can feel you touching it. Did you really think it would just lie there and do nothing?

   Touch the page at your peril: it is you who are blank and innocent, not the page. Nevertheless you want to know, nothing will stop you. You touch the page, it's as if you've drawn a knife across it, the page has been hurt now, a sinuous wound opens, a thin incision. Darkness wells through. 

(*From  'Murder in the Dark: Short Fictions and Prose Poems' © Margaret Atwood Virago UK 1994)

Indeed.  All of this rings true and through me. How about you? 

Dangerous, yes. But exhilarating too. Like climbing your own veritable Everest. All those metaphors of whiteness. The page is definitely somewhere you can lost, but also where you can be found. If you're brave enough of course, to ditch the gloves and the safety measures, and dive in there, whole-heartedly.

~ Siobhán

Reclusive, Neurotic, Psychotic: Writers on Film & TV

 

When it comes to the big screen and the small screen, it seems writers don't fare too well.

There's definitely a stereotype at play in big and small screen version writers - and it's not a good one. In general, writers are either annoying geeks meddling with police departments or socially inept recluses and in most if not all cases, mentally unstable neurotics on the verge of cracking up.

The first writer I ever witnessed on television was the inimitable Jessica Fletcher, of the classic Murder She Wrote TV series. Here the writer in question was popular crime writer Jessica Fletcher, as famous for her crime solving abilities as her bestsellers. And here was the first and infamous installment of the writer as detective aide extraordinaire. Jessica's writerly expertise on the area was always the special ingredient that helped solve a case and save the day. Indeed each episode played out as a murder mystery novella. We rarely saw Jessica at her typewriter but rather on the hunt for clues in a case. Apart from the ingraining of a stereotype, the only negative connotations associated with this version of the small screen writer was her meddlesome busybody personality (albeit a mutation of a writer's natural curiousity) and the annoying jingle-jangle theme tune!

This popular TV incarnation can be seen today in US crime series Castle which follows the adventures of Richard Castle, bestselling crime writer who shadows a detective in the NYPD for research and ends up on a permanent working placement, thanks to his unique insight into criminal caper. (Quite the modern day mutation of Mrs Fletcher we note, but Castle is not near as meddling or annoying; on the contrary he is quite witty, charming and a humorous addition to the department.) The series sways from the serious and dramatic to the comic and romantic. It regularly pokes fun at the notion of the writer as the ultimate nerd. But nerds get to save the day. As it turns out, it is always Castle who provides the missing link to a case and solves the unsolvable. And ultimately comes off as cool. He even gets to wear his own 'writer' imprinted bulletproof vest when in the field in a declarative coup for geeky writers everywhere.

But crime buffs are about as good as it gets for screen versions of writers. Speaking of -  Jack Nicholson's character in the Oscar-winning film As Good As It Gets is quite an example of the stereotypical writer, namely - grumpy, unsociable, obsessive compulsive, neurotic and reclusive. When we first meet this disdainful character, we need not wonder what the heck he does for a living (apart from attending psychiatrist appointments and his preferred restaurant) - what else could it be but a writer? When we see all the books in the apartment, it's a big hint. And what does Mr Sarky do in the evening? Sit down at his computer and work on his novel of course. So that explains his general ill-temper and all round misanthropy then... (And I'm not even going to mention The Shining....!)

It gets worse. Johnny Depp does a genuine creepy impression of a writer on the brink of breakdown in Secret Window.  Think you've finally stumbled upon a normal representation of a writer, a good-looking young disheveled Mort Rainey? Think again. His genre is crime: and you either go one way or another with that - to the local police department as an aide-de-camp or to the teetering edge of sanity. Depressed after his divorce and suffering from writer's block, he ends up writing his own murder mystery into real life in a schizophrenic twist that even the most unimaginative of writers can see coming.

Seems murderous intentions are an inevitable side effect of being a writer. In the 1987 black comedy Throw Mama Off the Train Billy Crystal's lead is a frustrated writer in the midst of a debilitating writer's block. And what better way to unleash the creativity again than to go on a murdering spree with a student who just happens to need his annoying mother murdered off and then turn it into a bestselling book at the end? Just shows you what writer's block can do!

Michael Douglas's writer and professor in The Wonder Boys (main pic)  doesn't come across much better. Here we have a failed writer, halfheartedly teaching a class while trying to reconcile his failing marriage. A weekend's adventure with his student protége and an earnest editor takes him on an existential quest which only confirms his failure further. Yet again, another depressed and mopey and whiskey drinking writer. Tobey Maguire who plays the gifted student is (as expected) introverted, dark, silent most of the time, and just plain weird. What we learn from this film seems to be that writers are strange creatures who sit about all day in dressing gowns at a typewriter or spend all their time dealing with the black clouds of existential burden.

The writer as recluse is the main subject of the film Finding Forrester, with Sean Connery's writer based loosely on the notoriously reclusive Catcher in the Rye author, JD Salinger.  After writing the definitive American novel William Forrester disappears from society and is stumbled upon by a young promising African American writer Jamal  who strikes up a friendship with the reclusive writer. There's no doubt that Forrester appears as a great writer, but again, a socially inept one. He suffers anxiety attacks when out in public and prefers solitude to society. But hey, at least he's not psychotic. Meticulous yes, neurotic no. There's a reverence and respect this character demands, but alas, it portrays the writer in yet another negative 'outsider' light. 

Cantankerous is another word that describes writers on the screen.  A relatively small scale 2005 TV film Shadows in the Sun featured Harvey Keitel as a grumpy, alcohol-guzzling writer living it up in his rural refuge in Italy.  Weldon Parish was quite the writer in his day, but in his old age is suffering from writer's block and prefers to find inspiration at the bottom of a bottle rather than with a pen. Joshua Jackson is the aspiring young writer who stumbles upon him and acts as the catalyst for the pending realisation and mending of ways. It's yet another cliché of the writer as an alcoholic or substance-dependent. Also, I remember vaguely years ago in Australian soap Home and Away there was a writer featured in the story - a drunken, down-and-out former great writer and Irish too - to add insult to injury! Writers hitting the bottle when block strikes is an all too familiar adage that film and TV likes to exploit to no end.

Women writers are just as badly portrayed (if at all that is - another stereotype of the screen writer is that they're always male). Emma Thompson's novelist in Stranger Than Fiction is neurotic in the extreme. The story is a quirky parable on the relation of fiction to reality and the main character played by Will Ferrell is at the mercy of this author as the puppet-string-controlled main character in her current novel. (It takes the term 'omniscient narrator' to a whole new dangerous level.) Thompson's novelist is the stereotypical brilliant yet tortured writer, a chain smoker and an obsessive eccentric who is obsessed with death and the emptiness of existence. And, in yet another stereotype, she has the obligatory straight-talking practical editor to keep her on schedule and sane while in the process of finishing her novel. (Note to self - writers are the crazy ones; editors and publishers the normal ones who keep these mad geniuses on a leash.)

Carrie from Sex and the City is perhaps the most glamorized and popular version of the TV writer (and the most positive perhaps). Rather than being mentally unstable, neurotic,  psychotic or manic depressive, she's upbeat and optimistic and leads a normal life (and an empowered one). Her writing is not an obsession, but a profession and one which helps her comprehend the reality of her own life and the complexities of modern love and romance.  But then again - she is a columnist - not a real writer per se and so escapes the occupational hazards that fiction writers come up against. But there's an exaggeration here too - do writers really live such glamorous lifestyles? Can they afford regular splurges on designer clothes from a singular weekly column?? And is international book deal success and celebrity status so easily garnered from said column?

Ahh. It's a pretty depressing depiction isn't it? Recluses, schizophrenics, eccentrics, manic depressives, psychotic murderers.... why are big and small screen writers so darn.... crazy? WelL I think it's a result of exaggerating normal writer traits into these more dramatic and dangerous transgressions in order to make appealing drama. Otherwise, they'd be too ordinary to feature in a screenplay. Writers infact lead a boring life - typing in solitude for hours on end without anything exciting happening, interspersed with eating, moping, bathroom breaks, staring into space . Not exactly the stuff of great action flicks.

Or maybe these Hollywood executives are merely paying homage to the 'strangeness' of the profession. Expressing their intrigue about it. Because it is mysterious. And rightly, very psychological in terrain.

What writers have left an impression on you from TV or film? There are loads more, but I'm sure all displaying the same typical characteristics. Or are there exceptions to the rule lurking out there?

I'd love to know!

~ Siobhán.

*Addendum

Oh and as an exception to the rule - I have to mention my favourite writer out of them all - Lucas from US TV series One Tree Hill. The series begins with Lucas (played by Chad Michael Murray) as a high school basketball player (clearly not a geek) and a budding writer. And how refreshing to see that he's young, good-looking, sociable and leads a NORMAL life with none of the stereotypical negative writer qualities! He's a tad brooding yes, but only in the endearing way. His writer self only serves to deepen his character - sensitive, honest, contemplative, philosophical and wise - not deform it! A feature of the show is his voiceover narrations (incorporating quotes from the likes of Shakespeare) which highlight the theme of each episode and are taken from notes he pens on the events of his life and those around him. After graduation he acquires a publishing deal for the novel he puts together from these and goes on to enjoy bestselling success, with the only ensuing dramas being the emotional kind not the murderous - of which, like all good writers - he turns into fiction. At last, a positive, normal and authentic representation of a writer. Film directors - take note!

642 Ways to Kick Writer's Block!

Stop the presses! Alert the media! Step away from the blank page! - A cure for writer's block has just hit the shelves! - '642 Things to Write About' is a book to beat the block like no other.

Not a writing manual or guide. Not a meditative reflection on creativity. No. It's a book of writing exercises to be precise. 642 of them. Designed to beat writer's block. And put the fun back into writing.

But wait, listen. It's not like all the other writing exercises us writers know and loathe. You know - the classic workshop ones like: write about your morning, your journey to the group, an interesting character, an overheard conversation blah, blah, blah... Or the classic writing guide staples like: describe an object right in front of you or write up observation notes. Nooo sir-eee.  

These exercises are unlike any others you will have come across. They're uber original and quirky and fun and laugh-out-loud ridiculous and zany and zeisty and exciting and so out-there as to be encouragingly and enthusiastically do-able.

I fell in love with this book when I saw it masquerading as a copybook/notebook in a bookshop a few days ago. I memorised some of the exercises and tried them at home, and voilá, today I have purchased this bible of creative nurturing due to: a/its insanely cool exercises and b/my innate writer's block now in remission, hurray! If there's anything that can kick its butt - this is it!

Don't believe me? Have a look at these random samples and try to stop your mind from galloping into its wild imaginative recesses:

-You are an astronaut. Describe your perfect day.

-Write a poem about a tomato.

-What can happen in a second.

-Write a love letter to a person you dislike.

-Describe a sneeze.
-Write about a tree from the point of view of one of its leaves.

-At a romantic restaurant on a Saturday night, a guy gets down on one knee and begins to propose. You are a sportscaster doing color commentary of theoccasion for a live television audience.

- A beginner's guide to getting up in the morning.

-Describe a red item without mentioning the colour.

-A superhero's bucket list.

-Write a bathroom wall limerick.
-Describe your favourite part of a male/female's body using only verbs.
-Describe a tree from the point of view of one of its leaves.
-Write a stand-up comedy routine to address the United Nations.

It's the zaniest writing book ever! And the most entertaining. Written by a group of San Francisco writers, thirty-five to be exact, and the exercises, all 642 of them, were penned within a day. In the introduction, writer PO Bronson explains that the book was written to stir up creativity, but also 'to remind you that no, not everything has been written, not every good idea is already taken by someone else. There are infinite number of things to write about and so many fresh directions for your story to go.'

The book itself is like a notebook/textbook, with ruled lines for each exercise, so you can carry it around as a journal and keepsake of your progress into the creative unknown. And the feint ruled lines beckon to be filled in right away - no room for planning or putting off. It's genius! A revolutionary writing handbook - in a store near you!

Me, I can't wait to dive in to these exercises and see that, even on boring blank page days, when no words are willing to show  and everything seems so sombre and serious, writing is truly meant to be fun. A playground. Where the imagination exhausts itself in enjoyment.

I think I have just stumbled upon the anti-dote to block, and this one, unlike all those other medicinal exercises the doctor ordered, is gonna be fun.

Let the spontaneous scribbling begin!

~ Siobhán.

*Read more on '642 Things to Write About' here

Honesty's the Best Policy: Stephen King's 'On Writing'

Honesty is the best policy so they say. Especially when it comes to writing. All writers urge honesty in writing. Don't be afraid to say what you really want to say. Call things as you see them. Hemingway was of the opinion that the highest pursuit in writing was to write 'one true sentence' and that 'all good books have one thing in common - they are truer than if they really happened.'

And from Hemingway to Stephen King. I'm currently reading his memoir On Writing which explores his viewpoint of the craft. I'm not a 'fan' of Stephen King - well, I don't really read that genre so I can't really say. I remember glancing through a few of his novels in a library once and feeling that they were quite well-written, but I never went any further than that I'm afraid (yes - too scared most likely!)

But I have to say I LOVE this book! I love the honesty of it. The straight-up talk. The frankness. (He even attacks the cult of the alcoholic genius writer that Hemingway helped create). I love reading what other writers have to say about writing, but I'm especially enjoying King's take on it, as it's just so.... real. He tells it as it is. And urges the reader to do the same. In the foreword he writes: 'This is a short book because most books about writing are filled with bullshit. Fiction writers, present company included, don’t understand very much about what they do- no why it works when it’s good, not why it doesn’t when it’s bad. I figured the shorter the book, the less bullshit.' Too right!

I especially like the part where he talks about reading -  that aspiring writers should read all the time. Even at meal times. To which he adds: 'Reading at meals is considered rude in polite society, but if you expect to succeed as a writer, rudeness should be the second-to-least of your concerns. The least of all should be polite society and what it expects. If you intend to write as truthfully as you can, your days as a member of polite society are numbered anyway.' Ha!  If you're not going to write truthfully incase you 'offend' people, forget about it - or as King says ' fuggghedaboutit.' 

The countless times I've gotten into people's 'bad books' for what I've written! But that's the thing about writing - you come to the blank page and you either dive in totally or you don't. And to dive in totally  - you must write truly what you think and feel. No hiding. Or else the blank page will shine a spotlight on you and expose you for the skeletal writer you are. 

Honesty goes hand in hand with writing. Some people write what they can't say. Love letters, for example. Greeting cards. Notes to self. Diaries. Writing unleashes some kind of primeval honesty. It's impossible to do it and not be honest. 

I could never quite understand fellow classmates at school writing essays and asking 'but is it ok to say that?' Their writing was somehow separate from themselves and not a natural extension of their mind and self. Essays (or personal writing as it was called) was the one part of school where I got to be myself. And still I don't understand people when writing things hesitating and wondering how to word and reword sentences, sentiments. Just go with the flow is my advice. Literally. Say what you feel. It's not that  hard, is it?

Free-writing shows just how powerful writing can be.  It's a way of excavating the layers to what we're really thinking (and feeling). It peels away the masks of personas we may be wearing. Psychology understands this. Writing is an essential part of therapy these days. I'm sure we've all heard the exercise about writing a letter to someone you are angry with, in it listing all your grievances and feelings and then burning it to let the anger go. Writing is powerful stuff. It opens up the self. But only if you write true. 

So you gotta be fearless in a respect. You're not just dealing with a pen, but a sword - a noble instrument, not to be wielded weakly or nervously or hesitantly.  Have you ever seen a timid swordsman??

And also, I just have to include here King's take on writing seminars and groups. Writers also require honesty in critiques, but unfortunatley this doesn't happen in writing groups. In the book  King notes his doubt over writing seminars and the likes and attacks the criticism on offer there: 

'And what about those critiques, by the way? How valuable are they? Not very, in my experience, sorry. A lot of them are maddeningly vague. 'I love the feeling of Peter's story', someone may say. 'It had...something a sense of I don't know...there's a loving kind of you know...I can't exactly describe it.' Other writing-seminar gemmies include: 'I felt like the tone thing was just kind of you know; the character of Polly seemed pretty much stereotypical; I loved the imagery because I could see what he was talking about more or less perfectly'. And instead of pelting these idiots with their own freshly toasted marshmallows, everyone else sitting around the fire is often nodding and smiling and looking solemnly thoughtful. In too many cases the teachers and writers in residence are nodding, smiling, and looking solemnly thoughful right along with them. It seems to occur to  few of the attendees that if you have a feeling you just can't describe, you might just be, I don't know, kind of like, my sense of it is, maybe in the wrong fucking class.'  

Well, never a truer word said Mr King! I've had more than my fair share of experiences like this where writing group critiques consist of vagueness, or the maddening smiling and nodding he so duly notes here. Not very helpful at all!

And here we touch on the tone of the whole book - the unguarded truth about the vocation which may explain its widespread critical acclaim and appeal. I'll end here with one of the famous quotes from the book, in which King addresses what way to approach writing, which in essence, is truthfully:

'You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or even despair - the sense that you can never completely put on the page what's in your mind and heart. You can come to the act with your fists clenched and your eyes narrowed, ready to kick ass and take down names. You can come to it because you want  a girl to marry you or because you want to change the world. Come to it any way but lightly. Let me say it again: you must not come lightly to the blank page.' 

For the aspiring writer - who isn't afraid of honesty - I'd highly recommend this book! 

~ Siobhán.